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Tournament of Wants – Family

November 9, 2010

Purpose

The purpose of this exercise is to look through all the wants, desires, and dreams I have listed related to FAMILY and find out “Which one is most important to me now?” That is the ONLY question I am to consider. Not “I have to do this first” or “I’ll want this in 10 years…” “Which one is most important to me now?” That’s it. Each round will take two wants and get a winner, and then those winners will face off, and so on until there is only one thing. Let’s see where this goes.

Round 1

1.       Become a couple known for listening, understanding, and even giving counsel to other couples and teens. (Family Life Development)

2.       Cruise Alaska (9/22/10)

Become a couple known for listening, understanding, and even giving counsel to other couples and teens.

3.       Cruise the Mediterannean (9/22/10)

4.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow (7/23/10)

Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

5.       Develop a yearly family vacation that we do each year as a tradition, such as a camping trip. (7/23/10)

6.       Develop an intentional use of time together each day so that I recognize its value (Family Life Development)

Develop a yearly family vacation that we do each year as a tradition, such as a camping trip.

7.       Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children. (Family Life Development)

8.       Encourage and help my wife find/rediscover/pursue her dreams, no matter how far-fetched they may seem (to her or to me) (Family Life Development)

Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children.

9.       Encourage my children to find and pursue their dreams, even at an early age. (Family Life Development)

10.   Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months. (Family Life Development)

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months.

11.   Explore with my wife our pasts, fears, and dreams. Write them down, and accomplish them together (7/23/10)

12.   Get out once a quarter for a personal-discovery outing (camping, long walk, etc.) (Family Life Development)

Get out once a quarter for a personal-discovery outing

13.   Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us. (8/3/10)

14.   Go horseback riding for a week out west (7/16/10)

Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us.

15.   Go to Hawaii (9/22/10)

16.   Have a family that grows stronger with time, even after my children leave home. (7/23/10)

Go to Hawaii

17.   Help my wife open a restaurant (7/16/10)

Help my wife open a restaurant (BYE)

18.   Host an exchange student (7/23/10)

19.   Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation (7/17/10)

Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

20.   Make my wife proud of what I do (8/7/10)

21.   Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40. (8/3/10)

Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40.

22.   Pay cash for a car (8/3/10)

23.   Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal. (Family Life Development)

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal.

24.   Reach out to kids without a stable home environment through love and hope (Family Life Development)

25.   See my children come to know (and be known by), love (and be loved by), and serve their Creator. (Family Life Development)

See my children come to know (and be known by), love (and be loved by), and serve their Creator.

26.   See my wife develop confidence in herself (8/3/10)

27.   Self-fund my retirement plan (8/3/10)

See my wife develop confidence in herself

28.   Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife. (Family Life Development)

29.   Take a two week vacation to a place far, far away. (Family Life Development)

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife.

30.   Teach my daughter that her worth is far beyond anything a person can assign to her, and that she will always be beautiful (7/23/10)

31.   Teach my son that he has what it takes, so that he believes it, not just because I tell him. (7/23/10)

Teach my son that he has what it takes, so that he believes it, not just because I tell him.

32.   Turn Thursdays into a father-son day including breakfast, drop-off and pickup from preschool, and an activity after school. (Family Life Development)

33.   Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own. (Family Life Development)

Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own.

Round 2

1.       Become a couple known for listening, understanding, and even giving counsel to other couples and teens.

2.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

3.       Develop a yearly family vacation that we do each year as a tradition, such as a camping trip.

4.       Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children.

Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children

5.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months.

6.       Get out once a quarter for a personal-discovery outing

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

7.       Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us.

8.       Go to Hawaii

Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us

9.       Help my wife open a restaurant

10.   Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

11.   Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40.

Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40 (BYE)

12.   Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal.

13.   See my children come to know (and be known by), love (and be loved by), and serve their Creator.

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

14.   See my wife develop confidence in herself

15.   Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife.

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

16.   Teach my son that he has what it takes, so that he believes it, not just because I tell him.

17.   Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own.

Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own

Round 3

1.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

2.       Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children

Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

3.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

4.       Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

5.       Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation (BYE)

6.       Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40

7.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

8.       Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

9.       Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

Round 4

1.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

2.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

3.       Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

4.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

5.       Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife (BYE)

Round 5

6.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

7.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

8.       Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife (BYE)

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Final Round

1.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

2.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

It’s interesting how “quickly” these tournaments work out to show me what’s most important to me at this particular moment in time. It’s like it weeds through the forest and finds the one tree that you’re ready to climb at this moment in time.