Heart Freedom Isn't Free Either

As we celebrate Veterans Day today, it’s rather easy to look around life and pick out the men and women who I know that have served me and my country through military service. I’m sure I’d miss some of them, but I can certainly name a few, and I thank them.

But what about freedom of the heart? Who has paid THAT price? Certainly, Jesus did. The sacrifice he made for me on the cross completely paid the price for my Salvation, Freedom, and Life. But is that it? Is freedom of the heart like freedom of speech, where once it’s paid for I can just walk out the door and exercise it to my heart’s content? I don’t think so.

I’m thinking today of three other places where the price for freedom must be paid. First is all the men and women who have fought for my freedom without even knowing my name. Missionaries, authors, speakers, and those random people you see on the street who make you think, “what do they have that I don’t?” Those people have paid a price to become the people God made them to be. They’ve let themselves go so that they can be used for good in others life, without having a clue as to the impact their lives will made. Anonymity. That costs something.

The second is those people who do know me and are fighting for my freedom. They may know me well, or they may know me just in a moment of life, but they know I am in need of Life, and they have some Life to offer. People like the man I went to this weekend and asked  for prayer, even before he knew my name. In fact, now that I think back to it, I don’t even know if I told him my name. I went up to him, as the guide for a small group through a 3 day men’s retreat, and shared my heart about a concern I had for a man in my group. He was having a hard time “letting go,” and it was obvious, at least to me. So I brought in a man who’d taken up the cross of praying for others throughout this retreat, and asked him to pray with me over it. He brought in another man, and there we stood, huddled around a tile on the floor, praying for breakthrough in a situation I had no idea how breakthrough would come. Later on that weekend that prayer would come back to remind and reassure me that I was on the right track, even though the guy in my group blew up, stomped off, and we honestly didn’t know if he’d be coming back. I knew we had taken his hurt before the throne, and released that sense of control that comes from being “in charge.” I found out later my prayer warrior had been watching over my group, continuing to pray for us, and was right there to guide, counsel, and build me up as I shared what was going on with him later. It’s great, and humbling, to have those who know something about you step into your life and say, “take some of my strength.” They are being Jesus to me.

The last person who must pay the price of my heart’s freedom is sadly the hardest. It’s me. I love letting to, but I hate it at the same time. It would be so much easier to rest in the assurance of the false truths that come into my life every day such as “you’re a failure,” “you won’t make it,” and “there you go, you let THAT person down again… you’re such a disappointment!” Those lies from the pit of hell ring as true as a bell in my life sometimes, and yet they are as far removed from the truth as light is from darkness itself. So often I combat those lies with cardboard and rubber weapons, such as grabbing the nearest snack, zoning out for an hour of TV, passing the buck (and the pain) to someone else, or coming up with a lame response such as “no I’m not.”

This battle is much more serious than can be waged simply with defensive weapons. Yes, that is what makes up most of what we call the armor of God. And that’s probably good, because we’re slammed with it every day and night. But we have also been given a sword to take back ground. To reclaim what was lost. To achieve victory over sin, death, and the Enemy. That victory only comes as we fight and put to death those things that would rather kill us. These are the things that are waging war against my freedom. I must fight back false accusations with true affirmations. I must fight harsh criticism with gentle truth. I must fight subliminal messages of disappointment with the true words my Father tells me. I am not a disappointment. My Father made me in his very image. I am the apple of His eye. He has made me a full fledged son, despite any shortcoming my flesh may have. That is who I am.

But that’s not who I was. And that’s where the price for freedom becomes the most costly. I must die to my old self. I must let it go completely, and claim no right over myself or my life at all, because I have been bought, and am now “in Him,” as the Bible says.

No, freedom isn’t free. It never is. That’s as true in my soul as it is on a sandy battlefield halfway across the world. But freedom is worth the price. Always.

Tournament of Wants – Family

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Tournament of Wants – Family

November 9, 2010

Purpose

The purpose of this exercise is to look through all the wants, desires, and dreams I have listed related to FAMILY and find out “Which one is most important to me now?” That is the ONLY question I am to consider. Not “I have to do this first” or “I’ll want this in 10 years…” “Which one is most important to me now?” That’s it. Each round will take two wants and get a winner, and then those winners will face off, and so on until there is only one thing. Let’s see where this goes.

Round 1

1.       Become a couple known for listening, understanding, and even giving counsel to other couples and teens. (Family Life Development)

2.       Cruise Alaska (9/22/10)

Become a couple known for listening, understanding, and even giving counsel to other couples and teens.

3.       Cruise the Mediterannean (9/22/10)

4.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow (7/23/10)

Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

5.       Develop a yearly family vacation that we do each year as a tradition, such as a camping trip. (7/23/10)

6.       Develop an intentional use of time together each day so that I recognize its value (Family Life Development)

Develop a yearly family vacation that we do each year as a tradition, such as a camping trip.

7.       Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children. (Family Life Development)

8.       Encourage and help my wife find/rediscover/pursue her dreams, no matter how far-fetched they may seem (to her or to me) (Family Life Development)

Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children.

9.       Encourage my children to find and pursue their dreams, even at an early age. (Family Life Development)

10.   Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months. (Family Life Development)

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months.

11.   Explore with my wife our pasts, fears, and dreams. Write them down, and accomplish them together (7/23/10)

12.   Get out once a quarter for a personal-discovery outing (camping, long walk, etc.) (Family Life Development)

Get out once a quarter for a personal-discovery outing

13.   Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us. (8/3/10)

14.   Go horseback riding for a week out west (7/16/10)

Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us.

15.   Go to Hawaii (9/22/10)

16.   Have a family that grows stronger with time, even after my children leave home. (7/23/10)

Go to Hawaii

17.   Help my wife open a restaurant (7/16/10)

Help my wife open a restaurant (BYE)

18.   Host an exchange student (7/23/10)

19.   Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation (7/17/10)

Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

20.   Make my wife proud of what I do (8/7/10)

21.   Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40. (8/3/10)

Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40.

22.   Pay cash for a car (8/3/10)

23.   Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal. (Family Life Development)

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal.

24.   Reach out to kids without a stable home environment through love and hope (Family Life Development)

25.   See my children come to know (and be known by), love (and be loved by), and serve their Creator. (Family Life Development)

See my children come to know (and be known by), love (and be loved by), and serve their Creator.

26.   See my wife develop confidence in herself (8/3/10)

27.   Self-fund my retirement plan (8/3/10)

See my wife develop confidence in herself

28.   Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife. (Family Life Development)

29.   Take a two week vacation to a place far, far away. (Family Life Development)

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife.

30.   Teach my daughter that her worth is far beyond anything a person can assign to her, and that she will always be beautiful (7/23/10)

31.   Teach my son that he has what it takes, so that he believes it, not just because I tell him. (7/23/10)

Teach my son that he has what it takes, so that he believes it, not just because I tell him.

32.   Turn Thursdays into a father-son day including breakfast, drop-off and pickup from preschool, and an activity after school. (Family Life Development)

33.   Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own. (Family Life Development)

Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own.

Round 2

1.       Become a couple known for listening, understanding, and even giving counsel to other couples and teens.

2.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

3.       Develop a yearly family vacation that we do each year as a tradition, such as a camping trip.

4.       Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children.

Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children

5.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months.

6.       Get out once a quarter for a personal-discovery outing

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

7.       Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us.

8.       Go to Hawaii

Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us

9.       Help my wife open a restaurant

10.   Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

11.   Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40.

Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40 (BYE)

12.   Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal.

13.   See my children come to know (and be known by), love (and be loved by), and serve their Creator.

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

14.   See my wife develop confidence in herself

15.   Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife.

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

16.   Teach my son that he has what it takes, so that he believes it, not just because I tell him.

17.   Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own.

Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own

Round 3

1.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

2.       Develop regular one-on-one activities with my children

Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

3.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

4.       Go back to St. John USVI with the family. Pay for some friends to go with us

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

5.       Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation (BYE)

6.       Max out my IRA contributions by the time I’m 40

7.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

8.       Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

9.       Understand my own need for personal discovery, and recognize that each of us will have to make some journeys on our own

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

Round 4

1.       Develop a family crest that we can hand down when our children grow

2.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

3.       Leave work behind for a 2 week vacation

4.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

5.       Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife

Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife (BYE)

Round 5

6.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

7.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

8.       Spend more planned one-on-one time with my wife (BYE)

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Final Round

1.       Establish a monthly date night with my wife. Look ahead 2-3 months

2.       Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

Plan a week in 2011 to go somewhere new. Put in the calendar, and plan for it as a goal

It’s interesting how “quickly” these tournaments work out to show me what’s most important to me at this particular moment in time. It’s like it weeds through the forest and finds the one tree that you’re ready to climb at this moment in time.

Tournament of Wants – Career

Tournament of Wants – Career

November 8, 2010

Purpose

The purpose of this exercise is to look through all the wants, desires, and dreams I have listed related to CAREER DEVELOPMENT and find out “Which one is most important to me now?” That is the ONLY question I am to consider. Not “I have to do this first” or “I’ll want this in 10 years…” “Which one is most important to me now?” That’s it. Each round will take two wants and get a winner, and then those winners will face off, and so on until there is only one thing. Let’s see where this goes.

Round 1

1.       Become influential in my area of business focus (8/9/10)

2.       Build an organized and useful contact list (8/10/10)

Become influential in my area of business focus.

3.       Build residual income: Start a NING site for home-service and fleet-based businesses with the expectation of building them a custom ticket / dispatch management solution. (Financial /Career Development)

4.       Continue working hard, but don’t feel or be bound to a 9-5 “schedule” that dictates what I do each day. (7/17/10)

Build residual income: Start a community site for private and municipal utilities and the contractors that serve them with the expectation of building core and customized components of a ticket / fleet / asset management and maintenance solution. (I’ve refined this goal a bit over the last few weeks)

5.       Define my company’s purpose and what we do in a specific, measurable statement. (7/23/10)

6.       Describe what I do in 1-2 sentences in a manner that is interesting and inspires followup. Do so in a manner that applies both to interested businesses and to individuals who just want to know what I do. (8/3/10)

Define my company’s purpose and what we do in a specific, measurable statement.

7.       Develop a catchy logo for my business (8/3/10)

8.       Develop a professional website for my company (8/9/10)

Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

9.       Develop a reputation within my local area as a business where honesty, results, and solution finding are important. (8/9/10)

10.   Develop a software application from the ground up and a client base for it as a large part of the business. (7/16/10)

Develop a software application from the ground up and a client based for it as a large part of the business.

11.   Find an investor with an idea, and develop their product, start to finish. (7/31/10)

Find an investor with an idea, and develop their product, start to finish. (BYE)

12.   Find someone to invest money, time, and commitment in one of MY ideas. (9/22/10)

13.   Get a new customer originating from a cold call (8/3/10)

Get a new customer originating from a cold call (or a cold call based on a recommendation from).

14.   Give a seminar or teach a class on communicating with clients and finding solutions WITH them, not just FOR them. (8/3/10)

15.   Have a real office. Not just a corner of the spare bedroom. (7/18/10)

Give a seminar or teach a class on communicating with clients and finding solutions WITH them, not just for them. Perhaps even do this WITH the very clients you are considering working for.

16.   Help my wife open a restaurant (7/16/10)

17.   Open my eyes to alternate careers: Find a good book about the career of Christian counseling. (Financial /Career Development)

Help my wife open a restaurant.

18.   Patent something (7/23/10)

19.   Plan ahead for business finances: Create a “dream” and “bare minimum” budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at right now for the next 12 months. (Financial /Career Development)

Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

20.   Remove myself from responsibilities that are superficial to what I want to focus on and that could be better handled by someone else (8/7/10)

21.   Sell a piece of software to a larger company

Remove myself from responsibilities that are superficial to what I want to focus on and that could be better handled by someone else.

Round 2

1.       Become influential in my area of business focus.

2.       Build residual income: Start a community site for private and municipal utilities and the contractors that serve them with the expectation of building core and customized components of a ticket / fleet / asset management and maintenance solution. (I’ve refined this goal a bit over the last few weeks)

Build residual income: Start a community site for private and municipal utilities and the contractors that serve them with the expectation of building core and customized components of a ticket / fleet / asset management and maintenance solution. (I’ve refined this goal a bit over the last few weeks)

3.       Define my company’s purpose and what we do in a specific, measurable statement.

4.       Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

5.       Develop a software application from the ground up and a client based for it as a large part of the business.

Develop a software application from the ground up and a client based for it as a large part of the business. (BYE)

6.       Find an investor with an idea, and develop their product, start to finish. (BYE)

7.       Get a new customer originating from a cold call (or a cold call based on a recommendation from).

Find an investor with an idea, and develop their product, start to finish.

8.       Give a seminar or teach a class on communicating with clients and finding solutions WITH them, not just for them. Perhaps even do this WITH the very clients you are considering working for.

9.       Help my wife open a restaurant.

Give a seminar or teach a class on communicating with clients and finding solutions WITH them, not just for them. Perhaps even do this WITH the very clients you are considering working for.

10.   Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

11.   Remove myself from responsibilities that are superficial to what I want to focus on and that could be better handled by someone else.

Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

Round 3

1.       Build residual income: Start a community site for private and municipal utilities and the contractors that serve them with the expectation of building core and customized components of a ticket / fleet / asset management and maintenance solution. (I’ve refined this goal a bit over the last few weeks)

2.       Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

3.       Develop a software application from the ground up and a client based for it as a large part of the business. (BYE)

4.       Find an investor with an idea, and develop their product, start to finish.

Develop a software application from the ground up and a client based for it as a large part of the business.

5.       Give a seminar or teach a class on communicating with clients and finding solutions WITH them, not just for them. Perhaps even do this WITH the very clients you are considering working for.

6.       Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

Round 4

1.       Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

2.       Develop a software application from the ground up and a client based for it as a large part of the business.

Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

3.       Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months. (BYE)

Final Round

4.       Develop a professional website for my company that includes the focus we are aiming for.

5.       Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months. (BYE)

Plan ahead for business finances: Create a dream and bare-minimum budget for C2IT starting from the point I’m at now and out for the next 12 months.

Once again my “most important thing right now” seems to be to “get a handle on where I am.” Take care of some basics that are lacking, and then build on them. That’s where I am with this. This is probably going to be the first year my company breaks the quarter million mark in total sales, and while that’s awesome, I honestly don’t know why. I know God’s hand is in it, but there’s also something that has helped us to sell more services and products throughout the course of the year that led to that. Do we want a similar “dream-sized” goal for next year or something bigger/smaller? That’s what I want to be able to set. And then … ACHIEVE.

 

Tournament of Wants – Financial

Tournament of Wants – Financial

Purpose

The purpose of this exercise is to look through all the wants, desires, and dreams I have listed related to FINANCIAL DEVELOPMENT and find out “Which one is most important to me now?” That is the ONLY question I am to consider. Not “I have to do this first” or “I’ll want this in 10 years…” “Which one is most important to me now?” That’s it. Each round will take two wants and get a winner, and then those winners will face off, and so on until there is only one thing. Let’s see where this goes.

Round 1

1.       Be completely debt free (7/21/10)

2.       Buy a new tractor, complete with attachments (9/9/10)

Be completely debt free.

3.       Buy a working farm (7/17/10)

4.       Buy lower level season tickets to the Indianapolis Colts (9/9/10)

Buy a working farm.

5.       Buy someone else a house (7/18/10)

6.       Give away an increasing proportion of my income: Read the biography of R.G. LeTourneau (Financial /Career Development)

Give away an increasing proportion of my income: Read the biography of R. G. LeTourneau

Round 2

1.       Be completely debt free.

2.       Buy a working farm.

Be completely Debt Free

3.       Give away an increasing proportion of my income: Read the biography of R. G. LeTourneau

Give away an increasing proportion of my income: Read the biography of R. G. LeTourneau

Final Round

1.       Be completely Debt Free

2.       Give away an increasing proportion of my income: Read the biography of R. G. LeTourneau

Give away an increasing proportion of my income: Read the biography of R. G. LeTourneau

This one was pretty short and sweet. I knew from the beginning what the final two would be. I wasn’t sure about the very last “tourney” but as I thought about the question “which is most important to me now,” I was reminded that while I’m already on the journey to becoming debt free (one more credit card at 0% fixed and the mortgage), it’s a process I’m not extremely excited about pushing right now, as I’ve already taken a $1,000 / month pay cut just to help things “work out” through this transition period. Throwing extra money at debt is great, but right now, it’s not the most important thing.

What I would like to do right now is to take stock of where I am in my giving, both to my church and other ministries I care about. I know we’ve made progress over the past 3 years to the point that our charitable giving each month rivals our mortgage, but I don’t really know where we are at, and I’d like to know that, so that I could set clearer goals as to where we’d like to get to.

This goal is specific also to reading a book, and since I just finished a book this weekend, that’s also on my mind. I think I’ll go ahead and order it tonight.

 

Tournament of Wants – Mental

Tournament of Wants – Mental

November 8, 2010

Purpose

The purpose of this exercise is to look through all the wants, desires, and dreams I have listed related to MENTAL DEVELOPMENT and find out “Which one is most important to me now?” That is the ONLY question I am to consider. Not “I have to do this first” or “I’ll want this in 10 years…” “Which one is most important to me now?” That’s it. Each round will take two wants and get a winner, and then those winners will face off, and so on until there is only one thing. Let’s see where this goes.

Round 1

1.       Be known as a convincing person who can get others to act on their beliefs (8/3/10)

2.       Become a regular contributor to a magazine (8/17/10)

Be known as a convincing person who can get others to act on their beliefs.

3.       Develop a professional and regularly updated personal blog (8/9/10)

4.       Develop and exercise speaking / teaching skills: Find an opportunity to teach a group on a regular basis. (Mental Development)

Develop a professional looking and regularly updated personal blog.

5.       Develop Writing Skills: Create a blog or journal entry each day on something relevant to my day. (Mental Development)

6.       Get a Master’s Degree (7/18/10)

Create a blog or journal entry each day on something relevant to my day.

7.       Get training to be a counselor / mentor. (9/9/10)

8.       Getting from Start to Finish: Spend 30 minutes every day reading. Develop a place to keep 2-3 books on different subjects so they are accessible to me when I have time. Block off time to read  (Mental Development)

Spend 30 minutes every day reading.

9.       Intentional Reading Plan:  Learn how to set goals with my wife. (Mental Development)

10.   Learn a new programming language (7/26/20)

Learn how to set goals with my wife.

11.   Proactive Self-Improvement: Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us. (Mental Development)

12.   Quality Family Time:  Read with/to my children every day. (Mental Development)

Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

13.   Read one book a week (8/3/10)

14.   Teach a college level class (7/18/10)

Read one book a week.

15.   Teach/Mentor/Train Individuals: Develop relationships with 1-2 specific men in my life, and reach out to 2-3 specific youth as well. Make a point to add something to their lives each week. (Mental Development)

16.   Write a book (7/18/10)

Develop relationships with 1-2 specific men in my life, and reach out to 2-3 specific youth as well. Make a point to add something to their lives each week.

Round 2

1.       Be known as a convincing person who can get others to act on their beliefs.

2.       Develop a professional looking and regularly updated personal blog.

Be known as a convincing person who can get others to act on their beliefs

3.       Create a blog or journal entry each day on something relevant to my day.

4.       Spend 30 minutes every day reading.

Spend 30 minutes every day reading.

5.       Learn how to set goals with my wife.

6.       Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

7.       Read one book a week.

8.       Develop relationships with 1-2 specific men in my life, and reach out to 2-3 specific youth as well. Make a point to add something to their lives each week.

Develop relationships with 1-2 specific men in my life, and reach out to 2-3 specific youth as well. Make a point to add something to their lives each week.

Round 3

1.       Be known as a convincing person who can get others to act on their beliefs

2.       Spend 30 minutes every day reading.

Spend 30 minutes every day reading.

3.       Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

4.       Develop relationships with 1-2 specific men in my life, and reach out to 2-3 specific youth as well. Make a point to add something to their lives each week.

Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

Final Round

1.       Spend 30 minutes every day reading.

2.       Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

Make time each week to have an adult conversation with my wife and talk about what is important to us.

These last two results make sense. They are bit size, although finding half an hour each day to read might be tough. But first things first… I’ve talked to Erin a bit about doing something like this once a month in terms of actual planning (money and time budgeting, for example), but doing something once a week focused on simply having an adult conversation without distractions would be awesome.

We’ll start tomorrow with our date to the Ram Restaurant.

 

Tournament of Wants – Social

Tournament of Wants – Social

Purpose

The purpose of this exercise is to look through all the wants, desires, and dreams I have listed related to SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT and find out “Which one is most important to me now?” That is the ONLY question I am to consider. Not “I have to do this first” or “I’ll want this in 10 years…” “Which one is most important to me now?” That’s it. Each round will take two wants and get a winner, and then those winners will face off, and so on until there is only one thing. Let’s see where this goes.

Round 1

1.    Be invited to play a participating role in someone else’s wedding (7/17/10)
2.    Become comfortable with incomplete thoughts (Social Development)
Be invited to play a participating role in someone else’s wedding.
3.    Become familiar with events in my clients’ industries. (Social Development)
4.    Become influential in my area of community focus (8/9/10)
Become familiar with events in my clients’ industries
5.    Become more familiar with relevant current events: Find a relevant source for news – local and national – and review it on a regular (but not obsessive) basis. (Social Development)
6.    Develop conversational skills that incite responses.
Develop conversational skills that incite responses
7.    Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.
Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for. (BYE)
8.    Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings. (Social Development)
9.    Intentionally ask questions that do not have a Yes/No or other one-word easy-answer. For close friends, develop a question more than “how are you.”
Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings.
10.    Keep / Guide / Place conversations on the intended / relevant topic. (Social Development)
11.    Maintain a strong friendship with another man throughout life, regardless of circumstances (7/23/10)
Maintain a strong friendship with another man throughout life, regardless of circumstances.
12.    Obtain a position in public service, either through election or appointment (9/9/10)
13.    Pay attention in conversations with clients about THEIR customers, industry happenings, and set up Google Alerts for these items. Review them regularly (but not obsessively) and forward interesting information to clients. (Social Development)
Pay attention in conversations with clients about THEIR clients and industry happenings; set up Google Alerts for these items. Review them regularly (but not obsessively) and forward interesting information to clients.
14.    Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions. (Social Development)
15.    Run for public office (9/9/10)
Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions.
16.    Share my story / testimony in an auditorium full of people. (8/17/10)
17.    When leading a discussion, have an outline and guide of where the discussion is going. Review the outline following the discussion and make notes on successes and areas where improvement is needed. (Social Development)
When leading a discussion, have an outline and guide of where the discussion is to go. Review the outline following the discussion and make notes on successes and areas where improvement is needed.

Round 2

1.    Be invited to play a participating role in someone else’s wedding.
2.    Become familiar with events in my clients’ industries
Become familiar with events in my clients’ industries.
3.    Develop conversational skills that incite responses
4.    Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for. (BYE)
Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.
5.    Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings.
Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings. (BYE)
6.    Maintain a strong friendship with another man throughout life, regardless of circumstances.
7.    Pay attention in conversations with clients about THEIR clients and industry happenings; set up Google Alerts for these items. Review them regularly (but not obsessively) and forward interesting information to clients.
Maintain a strong friendship with another man throughout life, regardless of circumstances.
8.    Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions.
9.    When leading a discussion, have an outline and guide of where the discussion is to go. Review the outline following the discussion and make notes on successes and areas where improvement is needed.
Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions.

I’m really not sure about these goals. They’re all kind of vague? Or maybe they’re not. Maybe it’s because I’m watching the Colts stomp the Texans while I work on this.

Round 3

1.    Become familiar with events in my clients’ industries.
2.    Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.
Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.
3.    Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings. (BYE)
4.    Maintain a strong friendship with another man throughout life, regardless of circumstances.
Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings.
5.    Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions.
Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions. (BYE)

I am seeing where this is going now.

Round 4

1.    Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.
Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for. (BYE)
2.    Gain confidence in unfamiliar group social settings.
3.    Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions. (BYE)
Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions.

The second one in this group seemed quite similar, but as I thought about them, to be honest, I’d rather just BE in unfamiliar social settings than BE CONFORTABLE in them. I can deal with awkwardness, and actually I kind of like the process of becoming comfortable… I know without a shadow of a doubt it comes through practice, and that’s what’s important to me NOW.

Final Round

1.    Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Possibly even consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.
2.    Place myself in unfamiliar social settings. Go into the event with a good answer to the question “what do you do?” and be prepared to meet new people with specific personal questions.
Develop my own personal response to “how are you,” that while genuine, is not as shallow as “fine.” Also consider the answer to this question each morning, affirming how I am, who I am, and what I am here for.

I think both of these are very meaningful desires for me. However, looking at the “big” social picture, besides just the business networking side of it, I realize that there is a significant level of uncomfortable-ness with myself, and much of that is because I really don’t take the time to think about how and who I am each day. I’d like to spend some extra time developing that habit.